Right now my life feels like it is in limbo. Limbo is the word of the semester. There are so many unknowns and it is scary. I seek the Lord's face constantly. I am at His mercy begging Him to reveal to me what He has for me. This morning I was praying and I just heard Him say, "Holly be patient. Just wait." He has been teaching me patience all along. That is one of the hardest things to act upon...or not act upon! :) I am not patient and that is probably why the Lord is teaching me patience. I tell the Lord that I will do anything that He wants me to; "Just tell me and I'll do it!" Well, He has told me to wait and so if I do not, I am not being true to my word and, worse, I'm living in sin. I'm worrying about things that I can't fix. I'm worrying about the future and I can't do anything about the future right now. I just need to rest in His unwavering faithfulness. The Lord is so good to me and continues to bless me everyday. I look at this past year and see His faithfulness in decisions I have made about College, Roommates, Classes, Ministry, Bible Studies, Focus Application. He has been faithful in strengthening me and growing me in Him. He has taught me more about His word more than ever this year. He has been my strength, my wisdom, my guide, my life. Why should I be worrying? Shame on me that I should ever doubt that He can run my life! Why is it so hard to give up complete control? Lord build my faith in you.
I bless thee that thou hast given me the eye of faith,
to see thee as Father,
to know thee as a covenant God,
to experience thy love planted in me;
For faith is the grace of union
by which I spell out my entitlement to thee:
Faith casts my anchor upwards
where I trust in thee
and engage thee to be my Lord.
Be pleased to live and move within me,
breathing in my prayers,
inhabiting my praises,
speaking in my words,
moving in my actions,
living in my life,
causing me to grow in grace.
Thy bounteous goodness has helped me believe,
but my faith is weak and wavering,
its light dim,
its steps tottering,
its increase slow,
its backslidings frequent;
It should scale the heavens, but lies groveling in the dust.
Lord, fan this divine spark into glowing flame.
When faith sleeps, my heart becomes
an unclean thing,
the fount of every loathsome desire,
the cage of unclean lusts
all fluttering to escape,
the noxious tree of deadly fruit,
the open wayside of earthly tares.
Lord, awake faith to put forth its strength
until all heaven fills my soul
and all impurity is cast out.
4 comments:
i totally know how that is! i am soooooo impatient with God's will for my future. i have written many a blog about this! lol.
thanks for posting this! i really liked that prayer at the end! :]
I think that patience is the hardest thing to be faithful in. I am very hasty (like the fool in Proverbs) at times and struggle to wait upon the Lord. I just want to have what I want, despite my Father. It is such a great sin that in light of 24 years of faithfulness, I still doubt His will and plan. I have experienced great joy while waiting on him lately. To know that he will give what he will and he will withhold what he will.! He is a sovereign king who does all that he pleases, and his glory shines most brightly when his people are completely and utterly dependent on Him. I take great joy in the Fathers sovereign goodness, wherever it may lead. He alone upholds all things by the word of his power!
i'm so proud of you.
waiting on the Lord...me and you both. :) hearing your thoughts on it the other night and seeing what God is teaching you is such a huge encouragement to me. Thank you! He is good, He is enough.
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